About
Why Men?
Divorce affects men just as deeply as it affects women — but men rarely get the same level of emotional support, structured guidance, or community around them when their marriage is falling apart.
Women have an entire ecosystem: Second Saturday workshops, mom-focused divorce groups, Facebook communities, and a growing number of female divorce coaches. Men, meanwhile, often go through the process quietly, privately, and alone.
Men don’t talk about how painful divorce is — but they feel it just as much, if not more.
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And the consequences of going through it alone are real:
Research shows that divorced men are significantly more likely to experience depression, isolation, and even suicide. Not because men are unwilling to seek support, but because they are rarely offered spaces where vulnerability feels safe, where guidance feels accessible, or where someone understands how men process relational rupture.
This is why I work with men specifically.
Men deserve a place to land — a space where someone helps them steady themselves, understand what’s happening, and learn the relational and emotional skills they were never taught but desperately need during this chapter of life.
Divorce, as devastating as it is, can also become an initiation into a more grounded, aware, courageous version of yourself. A moment to learn how to communicate without escalation, lead with integrity, and move through conflict with clarity and intention.
My work is about helping men show up in ways they didn’t know they were capable of. Not by being harder or tougher — but by becoming more present, more emotionally skilled, and more anchored in who they want to be.
Most men approach separation and divorce feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and unsure how to move forward without making things worse. My 5-step process gives you a clear, grounded framework for making thoughtful decisions in the middle of emotional and relational turbulence.
My 5-Step Coaching Process
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Divorce is overwhelming, and stress narrows your ability to think clearly.
We start by helping your nervous system settle so you can slow down, breathe, and see the situation accurately. Calm is your first point of leverage.
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Even if the relationship is ending, understanding your spouse’s perspective is essential for reducing conflict.
We identify patterns, triggers, and communication habits that either escalate or soothe tension, helping you approach conversations strategically and respectfully.
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Everyone carries a story about what’s happening — often one filled with fear, blame, or assumptions.
We examine the meaning you’re assigning to events so you can shift out of reactivity and into clarity. This leads to more grounded decisions and healthier communication.
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Most men don’t start with a vision; they start with panic.
This step helps you articulate your desired outcome — whether that’s repairing the marriage, stabilizing a separation, or pursuing a low-conflict divorce — and map the path that aligns with that vision.
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A low-conflict process requires the right support at the right time.
Together, we identify which professionals you need (therapist, mediator, attorney, CDFA) and how to use them strategically rather than reactively, so the process stays constructive instead of adversarial.
Meet James
James Traub
Certified Divorce Coach®
James Traub is a divorce and relational leadership coach who specializes in helping men navigate the emotional, relational, and strategic challenges of separation with clarity and integrity. He brings a steady, practical approach that supports men in reducing conflict, making thoughtful decisions, and creating the best possible outcome for themselves and their families.
Education:
Colorado School of Mines, B.S. Chemistry, 2005
Wellcoaches, Certified Health & Wellbeing Coach®, 2022
Wellcoaches, Lifestyle Medicine for Coaches, 2022
Stephen Porges, Intro to Polyvagal Theory, 2023
CDC, Certified Divorce Coach®, 2024
16-Hour Intro to Collaborative Divorce Training, 2024
Advanced Collaborative Training, From Conflict to Clarity, 2025
Advanced Collaborative Training, Role of the Divorce Coach, 2025
My Story:
I never expected to be doing this kind of work. I spent 15 years as a chemist, leading quality assurance programs for herbal medicine and dietary supplement companies. But like many people, I hit a wall—burned out, let go without warning, and left to rebuild a life that no longer made sense. In the years that followed, I did the hard work of putting myself back together—through therapy, yoga, men’s groups, and deep emotional introspection. That healing journey brought me home to something I’d never been taught to value: the inner world of human emotion, relationship, and resilience.
What I discovered along the way was a real passion—and growing skill—for helping people navigate emotionally charged situations with more calm, clarity, and compassion. I found that I could sit with people in moments of deep uncertainty and help them find a way forward that felt steady and true. That’s what led me to divorce coaching. Many of my clients arrive in crisis—overwhelmed, hurting, unsure what to do next—but they know something has to change. And I’ve found tremendous fulfillment in helping them move from survival mode to something more stable, grounded, and intentional.
Interestingly, my background in quality systems turns out to be an unexpected asset here. For over a decade, my job was to design processes that deliver consistent, reliable results. Divorce, on the other hand, often delivers confusion, conflict, and regret—because people go through it in a state of emotional chaos, without a clear destination. The work I do now is about reversing that pattern: helping clients get clear on what they want, why they’re doing this, and how to build the right team to get them there. It’s still about systems and outcomes—but now, the outcomes are personal, lasting, and deeply human.